I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
