why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
