Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
