you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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