Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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