That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
