so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
