what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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