Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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