you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
its not stalking. its research.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize