I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
