He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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