Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
