god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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