I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
