I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
