If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
