Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
