So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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