And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
