We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
