just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
