yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
