your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
