Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
