I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
