i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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