is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
