dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
