Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
