? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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