its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
