we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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