you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Randomize
