Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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