Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
