You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
