Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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