You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
