five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
