You work out of a Hotel?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
