I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
