Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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