They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
