Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
