I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
