Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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