11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
