I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
