ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize