Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
