No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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