YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
