this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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