I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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