don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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