is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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