Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
pray to the hookup gods
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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