so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
