when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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