I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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