wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
