no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Couch. On fire.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
